Cool Funky here. Just wanted to say hello to all the Ageing Cool Mo-Fo's out there and to say we're still jamming like we did all those years back when times were cool and funky.
Hang tight mo-fo's we is all going on a trip back in time. But first lets do a quick reality check here to see how cool we still are. Lets try a quick comparison. Ok... Would you rather bop around to a bit of 'McFadden and Whitehead' or try strutting to 'Snop-Snoppy-Dog. I know what I'd rather getting down and funky to. Thats right, there 'ain't no stoppin us now'.. lets move on.
Here's another reality check. When was the last time you watched Top of the Pops. Last time I watched it the show was on a thursday at 7pm so when the mo-fo did it move to sunday nights ! Jeez ! I used to take out my tape recorder to tape the tunes, and I know you did to so don't deny it.
Man, no-one knows what a tape-recorder is these days. No-one knows what a c90 cassette is. No-one has a tape player in their house and that's includes me. I found a tape cassette the other day and I couldn't play the damn thing ! I had nothing to play it on ! Time check please.
Remember the day we used to get paid by cheque on a friday (every friday) and then head off to the bank to cash it? Yes, those were the days. No ATM cash points. The money you got was what you had and you budgetted for the week in an old shoe box under your bed. There was no such thing as cash-points, credit cards, or credit of anyform. The only flexible friends you had was your mates. The Macdonalds came to town. We never had Macdonalds in the 70's. We had Wimpy but there was no MacDonalds. A big Mag took us all by surprise. We bunked off to see the wonder of a big mac and compete with one another to see how many of them we could scoff in one sitting. My mate John ate 7 of them in one hit, but he was a big lad.
If any of you are past the midway life stage then you'll understand what I mean. Age sure does play tricks on a cool bro, and it's a damn shame really.
Back in the 70's/80's music was the DB's and brothers and sista's were all hip and funky and it didn't matter what we were wearing coz we didn't care. Our mums and dads thought we looked like a right bunch of pillocks but we didn't care. We had style. I look at the young'uns nowadays and think to nyself, Man that is some uncool fashion, but I guess it's age catching up with me. Maybe I ain't cool no more, maybe I am now an oldie. Hmm... bears thinking about don't it.
I met a cool bro the other day and realised that some of us ain't so hot no more. This bro was one of the coolest mo-fo's in town back in '75. He had the hair, the flare, the stare and the no-care. Man this dude was so hot the cheap shiffon on the chicks blouses melted when they stood next to him. That's how hot this dude was ! But Man, when I seen this bro last week I nearly fell off my 6inch platforms. He got old, wrinkly and big. when I mean big, I mean his waistline expanded and I just can't picture the dude in his three-buttoned-waistbands no more.
That got me scared, and gave me a reality check. I went and looked in the mirror and realised I ain't no Starsky look-i-likee no more. Sure I got the cardigan, but these days it's a different cardie and this time it matches me slippers. I look more like a character from 'close encounters' than a cool bro from 'Night Fever'. I is defo getting on a bit, maybe a bit wrinkly here and there, and if I have to admit, my three-buttoned waistbands will have to lose a button, infact I think I'm gonna switch it to elasticated waistbands if I can't lose a stone or two. Maybe my crocodile cubans will have to go on ebay to earn some cash for my pension in a few years.
Feel old yet? Keep watching my blog cos I'll do loads of reality checks here and you'll soon realise you ain't no spring chicken no more. Man, that age think does sure catch up with ev'ryone. None of us can stop it, it's sure gonna get us all. The sandman cometh, time for me afternoon nap.
Till next time.
The Cool Funky Dude.